A schism between my mind and my body. It is too painful to sit there in my body and feel it, to acknowledge her expanding and changing without my consent. She is not mine anymore. She is not someone to be trusted. She is repulsive and only getting bigger. There is everything wrong with her. But I can’t fix her anymore. Someone else has taken her over. So, I find somewhere else to hide out. I retreat to the safety of my mind. I become cerebral, reading and writing and reading. I focus on the things around me, anything outside of myself. Like all the more seasoned patients here, I cover her up.
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