insomnia to anorexia and indigestion, he came up with a one-size-fits-all solution: taking an increasingly large series of Dr Young’s Ideal Rectal Dilators and ramming them up your arsehole. ‘First warm dilator in warm water; then lubricate outside of dilator with Dr Young’s Piloment (or if it is not available, with vaseline) and while in a squatting position – or while lying on the side with knees drawn up – gently insert in the rectum as far as the flange or rim,’ the instructions to the dilators read.165
