In the Margins: On the Pleasures of Reading and Writing

by Elena Ferrante

I will tell you something that may seem contradictory. When I finished a story, I was pleased, having the impression that it had come out perfectly; and yet I felt that it wasn’t I who had written it—that is, not the excited I, ready for anything, who was called to write, and who during the entire draft had seemed to be hidden in the words—but another I, who, tightly disciplined, had found convenient pathways solely in order to say: look, see what fine sentences I’ve written, what beautiful images, the story is finished, praise me.

I feel cramped, uncomfortable, in the well-balanced, calm, and compliant writing that made me think I knew how to write.

quite like i do when painting ...