I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality

by Jerold J. Kreisman

A borderline woman, lacking in self-esteem, may perceive her physical attractiveness as her only asset and may require confirmation of her worth by engaging in frequent sexual encounters.

Such involvements avoid the pain of being alone and create artificial relationships she can totally control. Feeling desired can instill a sense of identity.

Support for the patient, Empathy for his struggles, confrontation of Truth or reality issues, together with Understanding of issues and a dedication to Persevere in the treatment.

Borderline fear of change involves a basic distrust of his “brakes.”

In healthier people, these psychological brakes allow a gradual descent from the pinnacle of a mood or behavior to a gentle stop in the “gray zone” of the incline. Afraid that his set of brakes won’t hold, the borderline adult fears that he won’t be able to stop, that he will slide out of control to the bottom of the hill.

healing in BPD requires placing just enough pressure by challenging himself to move forward.

the roots of my indecisiveness are the beginning of success. I mean, the agony of choosing is that I suddenly see choices.”

In BPD, one must learn to integrate the positive and negative aspects of other individuals.

Stable relationships are dynamic, fluctuating systems that have attained a state of equilibrium. When one person in that system makes significant changes in his ways of relating, others must adjust in order to recapture homeostasis, a state of balance. If these readjustments do not occur, the system may collapse and the relationships may shatter.