Someone trapped in this dilemma will often break free when he least expects it—when he relaxes, becomes less obsessive and self-demanding, and learns to accept himself. It is no coincidence that the borderline character who seeks a healthy love relationship more often finds it when he is least desperate for one and more engaged in self-fulfilling activities. For it is at this point that he is more attractive to others and less pressured to grasp at immediate and unrealistic solutions to loneliness.
