It is important to keep in mind that BPD is an illness, not a willful attempt to get attention. The borderline individual lacks boots, much less the bootstraps with which to pull himself up. It is useless to get angry or to cajole and plead with him to change; without help and motivation, he cannot easily modify his behavior. However, this does not imply that he is helpless and should not be held responsible for his conduct. Actually, the opposite is true. He must accept, without being excused or protected, the real consequences of his actions, even though initially he may feel powerless to
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