You Are Not Alone

by Greer Hendricks

Numbers never lie. Statistics, charts, percentages—they don’t contain hidden agendas or shades of gray. They’re pure and true. It isn’t until people start meddling with them, spinning and shaping them, that they become dishonest.

At thirty-two, Cassandra is two years older than Jane. It’s easily apparent the women—with their long, glossy black hair, gold-flecked brown eyes, and creamy skin—are sisters. But Cassandra is composed of sleek muscles, while Jane is softer and curvier, with a high, sweet voice.

When I spotted the woman with the pleasant face, I only thought about how she could save me. But I should have been the one to save her.

Some studies show that eating alone is more strongly associated with unhappiness than any other factor, except mental illness.

On average, women report having eight close friends. Studies have found that, when under stress, women tend to seek out these female friendships. Instead of simply experiencing the adrenal-based “fight or flight” response, women also secrete the “bonding hormone,” oxytocin. This phenomenon has been termed “tend and befriend.”

We tend to like people whom we perceive as similar to us. And the less information we have about a person, the more important these perceived similarities are in influencing our approval.

Tons of studies have found that attractive, well-groomed individuals are assumed to possess positive qualities that aren’t even related to their appearance—they’re perceived as being more intelligent, more interesting, and more trustworthy. This is sometimes called the halo effect.

people who commit small acts of dishonesty find it easier to tell more lies. As your fabrications pile up, your anxiety and shame start to disappear.

One of the best ways to get someone to like you is to ask them to do a favor for you. In one study conducted in both the U.S. and Japan, people who thought they were working on a joint project ended up reporting liking someone more when that person asked for their help with the task. This is called the Benjamin Franklin effect. The phenomenon is named for the way the founding father used this tactic to appeal to a political rival, by asking the man to lend him a book from his library.

Some people contend there are two primal fears. The first and most basic is the end of our existence. The second is isolation; we all have a deep need to belong to something greater than ourselves.