You Are Not Alone

by Greer Hendricks

Numbers never lie. Statistics, charts, percentages—they don’t contain hidden agendas or shades of gray. They’re pure and true. It isn’t until people start meddling with them, spinning and shaping them, that they become dishonest.

Because numbers never lie. And two plus one equals … too many.

These days, I’ve come to mostly accept my body—I’ve turned my focus to my health and strength—and now, instead of what the scale shows, I record my 10K race times and the pounds I can deadlift.

When someone conjures unease in you, there are usually good reasons behind it.

Strategies to alleviate panic attacks: 1. Breathe in through your nose to the count of five, hold it for the count of five, and breathe out through your mouth to the count of five. 2. Count backward from 100 by 3’s. 3. Tune into four things you can see, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. *Attempts to enter subway without a panic attack: 12 (none successful)

My favorite CrossFit class is in SoHo, but I’ve begun frequenting a little gym that’s only a few blocks away.

I reminded myself how common it is to seek therapy: 42 percent of Americans have been in counseling.

All I have the energy to do is make microwave popcorn for dinner and watch mindless television.

Loneliness is spreading to more and more people, almost like a virus. These days, roughly 40 percent of Americans report feeling isolated on a regular basis—double the approximately 20 percent in the 1980s. One survey found Gen Zers (those born 2001–now) to be the most lonely, followed by millennials (those born 1980–2000—my generation).

Some studies show that eating alone is more strongly associated with unhappiness than any other factor, except mental illness.

Cassandra and Jane are powerful, confident, alluring—everything I’m not. I guess I just wanted to take a tiny step in their shoes.

We tend to like people whom we perceive as similar to us. And the less information we have about a person, the more important these perceived similarities are in influencing our approval.

My slim black pants and gauzy sleeveless top, my coppery eyeliner, even the manicure I gave myself—I can’t pretend it isn’t designed to make these women like me.

Tons of studies have found that attractive, well-groomed individuals are assumed to possess positive qualities that aren’t even related to their appearance—they’re perceived as being more intelligent, more interesting, and more trustworthy. This is sometimes called the halo effect.

I once read that a sincere compliment is so powerful because it activates the reward centers in the brain, creating the same reaction that receiving money does. It truly does feel like a gift.

It seems that the data is true: Sharing personal information and emotions leads to increased feelings of closeness.

Most people lie in a conversation when they are trying to appear likable and competent. One famous study found that 60 percent of people lied at least once during a ten-minute conversation. If you’re going to tell a premeditated lie, here’s how to do it: Make it believable. Practice saying it. Keep the lie short. Be confident.

nurses are as underpaid as teachers.

I stand there for a moment, feeling the whisper of the sky’s last few raindrops against my skin, as if it is washing me anew, too.

The term déjà vu means “already seen,” and as much as 70 percent of the population reports having experienced it. The rates seem to be highest among people aged 15 to 25, and déjà vu experiences decrease with age. When it comes to what déjà vu really is and what causes it, there are more than 40 theories—ranging from reincarnation to glitches in our memory processes.

More than half of Americans believe in love at first sight, with younger people being more likely to hold this belief. Four in ten Americans say they have fallen in love at first sight. One survey found that almost three-quarters of Americans believe in “one true love.”