The Cat Who Could Read Backwards (Cat Who..., #1)

by Lilian Jackson Braun

Mountclemens’ eyes sparkled. “I need no further encouragement. And I shall pour you a glass of Catawba grape juice. I keep it in the house for—him.” “Who?” “Kao K’o-Kung.” Qwilleran’s face went momentarily blank. “The cat,” said Mountclemens. “Forgive me for forgetting you have not been formally introduced. He is very fond of grape juice, especially the white. And nothing but the best brand. He is a connoisseur.”

“This is Kao K’o-Kung,” said Mountclemens. “He was named after a thirteenth-century artist, and he himself has the dignity and grace of Chinese art.” Kao K’o-Kung stood motionless and looked at Qwilleran. Qwilleran looked at Kao K’o-Kung. He saw a long, lean, muscular cat with sleek fur and an unbearable amount of assurance and authority.

“A seven-foot leap is not unusual for a Siamese,” said Mountclemens. “Cats have many gifts that are denied humans, and yet we tend to rate them by human standards. To understand a cat, you must realize that he has his own gifts, his own viewpoint, even his own morality. A cat’s lack of speech does not make him a lower animal. Cats have a contempt of speech. Why should they talk when they can communicate without words? They manage very well among themselves, and they patiently try to make their thoughts known to humans. But in order to read a cat, you must be relaxed and receptive.”

“For the most part,” he went on, “cats resort to pantomime when dealing with humans. Kao K’o-Kung uses a code which is not difficult to learn. He scratches objects to call attention. He sniffs to indicate suspicion. He rubs against ankles when he wants service, and he shows his teeth to express disapproval. He also has a catly way of thumbing his nose.”

Qwilleran put down his fork and wiped his moustache carefully with his napkin. “That’s very interesting,” he said. He coughed once or twice and then leaned toward his host. “Do you want to know something? I have a funny feeling about my moustache. I’ve never told this to anyone, but ever since I grew this set of lip whiskers I’ve had a weird idea that I’m more—more aware! Do you know what I mean?”

“Lay the paper on the floor,” Mountclemens instructed him, “and Kao K’o-Kung will read the headlines.” The cat followed this procedure closely. His nose twitched with anticipation. His whiskers moved up and down twice. Then he lowered his head to the screamer head, which was printed in two-inch type, and touched each letter with his nose, tracing the words: DEBBAN RELLIK DAM. Qwilleran said, “Does he always read backwards?” “He reads from right to left,” Mountclemens said.

Mountclemens says cats like to hear a repetition of syllables when they’re being addressed, and their ears are particularly receptive to palatal and velaric sounds.” “Somebody’s nuts,” said Odd.

“Sure, I like animals, and this cat is more human than a few people I could name. But he gives me the uncomfortable feeling that he knows more than I do—and he’s not telling what it is.” Arch said. “We have cats around the house all the time. The kids bring them home. But none of them ever gave me an inferiority complex.” “Your kids never brought home a Siamese.”

“Then the vandal must have been someone who digs modern art,” said Kendall. “Some kind of nut who hated his mother.” “That narrows it down,” said Arch.