A Risk on Forever

by N.S. Perkins

“Do you think a woman needs a partner to decide to buy sexy underwear?”

I wanted to pump myself up for work, so I played Taylor Swift’s 1989 album. Never failed to put me in a good mood.

Being able to read people without needing them to tell you what’s wrong is the greatest of gifts.

Show your emotions. Cry when you’re sad, laugh when you’re happy, scream when you’re mad, and kiss when you’re in love. You have every right to feel whatever it is you’re feeling, and expressing it can only help to show who you are as a person.

kick them out of your life. They’re not worth it. You deserve to be with people who want to know your truth and to see your heart above all else.

Try your best, admit your mistakes when you make them, and focus on all the good you do rather than on the tiny faults you commit along the way.

“You and Matt, when are you getting married?” I choked on my own saliva, coughing and laughing inside my elbow at the same time. “Never? We’re not even together! Why would you ask that?” He yawned and closed his eyes before turning his back to me. I thought this was it, but as I got up again, he floored me with his answer. “Because he looks at you the way Daddy used to look at Mommy.”

You’ll never get what you want if you don’t work for it. Nothing in this world comes for free, and the best thing you can do for yourself is work your butt off for what you believe in. Fight, tooth and nail, for the people you love.

The song on the bathroom speaker changed to Taylor Swift’s “Soon You’ll Get Better,” and a lump formed in my throat when I listened to the lyrics.

didn’t just lose my wife, I lost my purpose. I can’t see a future without her.”

never let the world ruin your heart of gold. No matter how much pain you go through, no matter what is thrown your way, no matter how people treat you, just don’t lose it. You might want to give it up for some bad people, but they’re not worth it. With love and empathy, you can never lose.

Your love can be expressed in thousands of ways, none better than the other. The important thing is to find the one that works for the person you’re with.

That makes Helen Advice number six: Love your significant other in the right way.

Don’t wait until you’re old or sick or dying to appreciate things. Live life to the fullest. Always. Starting now. Look at everything around you, be thankful for it, and enjoy the most of it. Time goes by so fast, blink and you’ll miss it. So never wait for anything. Your moment is now.

“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.” Her voice was strained. I gazed at her, understanding exactly what she meant, even if she couldn’t tell my eyes were only on her. “I know.”

know I have told you that love is the most wonderful thing in the world, but sometimes, it feels more like a curse than a blessing. I know it all too well.

feeling is never a bad thing, no matter how many inconveniences it can bring.

“Because I knew you would never let me go. And I need you to let me go.”

Matthias and Helen Philips had carved their names into my heart, each in their own way, and I didn’t know if there was such a thing as getting over them.

“You’re the daughter I never had the chance to have.”

The calm I feel now, like a bird soaring over the ocean, is because I won’t have to endure any more setbacks in my health. This wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t made the decision to let go and not fight against nature, so know that I haven’t regretted my choice, even in the end.

Surround yourself with good people. The ones who will be there to pick you up piece by broken piece when you go through hardships. The ones who will be by your side through thick and thin, through blazing heats and devastating blizzards. The ones who won’t only be there for the birthday parties and the Fourth of July fireworks, but also for the funerals, for the doctor appointments, and for the days when you can’t seem to pull yourself out of bed.

I'm so sorry, but I have to let you go. Live your life. Don't worry about me.

Always embrace your choices. The reason why you made them doesn’t matter; at some point, you thought this was the right thing to do, and there’s no wrong in admitting it.

wanted this to last forever. I wanted you to remember the time we’d spent together, to remember the great memories we’d made, and most of all, to remember me, both the good parts and the bad.

“I would’ve let you break my heart a thousand times over, just for the chance of getting more of the moments of pure happiness I felt when I was with you. If you’d just given me something, I would’ve given you everything.”

“Would you like to dance, Addy?”

‘I won’t let you go, Richard. You take the time you need, but I’m not going anywhere.’”

“Falling in love with you wasn’t gradual. It hit me like a tidal wave.”

“Matt, how could you make your way back into my heart when you never left?”

That’s what we’d done. We hadn’t let go. We’d taken a risk on forever. And once again, Helen had been right.

On this wedding day of yours, I wish you all the happiness in the world. And if on some days you can’t find this happiness, then create it. Laugh, travel, cook, sing at the top of your lungs, and dance until your feet are blistered. Be kind to each other, and love like every day is your last.