One thing that motivates me to be a little braver in how I handle my hurt feelings is research that shows that when we respond to hurt feelings with anger, the other person tends to match our anger with more anger. I can tell you this has happened in my kitchen about 1,365 times. However, when repair seems possible and we share our hurt feelings and try to reconnect without the anger, the other person tends to respond with constructive actions including apologies and amends. I’ve tried “I’m so pissed off right now because you’re a jerk but I’m going to say that my feelings are hurt so you
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