Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience

by Brené Brown

During the Holocaust, Nazis described Jews as Untermenschen—subhuman.

Hatred will always motivate people for destructive action.

Research shows that a lack of direct contact with such individuals can actually strengthen hate.

Look at today's marginalized communities--do people with prejudices even know members?

“goal of hate is not merely to hurt, but to ultimately eliminate or destroy the target, either mentally (humiliating, treasuring feelings of revenge), socially (excluding, ignoring), or physically (killing, torturing), which may be accompanied by the goal to let the wrongdoer suffer.”

But any mechanism that helps one understand things from others’ points of view—love, critical thinking, wisdom, engagement with members of target groups—at least makes hate less likely,

Hubris is an inflated sense of one’s own innate abilities that is tied more to the need for dominance than to actual accomplishments.

I alone can fix it.

Humility is openness to new learning combined with a balanced and accurate assessment of our contributions, including our strengths, imperfections, and opportunities for growth.

Hubris is an inflated sense of one’s own innate abilities that is tied more to the need for dominance than to actual accomplishments. It is negatively correlated with self-esteem and positively correlated with narcissism and shame-proneness.

45 and 47

To those of us observing hubris, it looks and feels terrible. However, to the person experiencing hubris, it feels good.

Furthermore, the person experiencing hubris doesn’t really care what we think.

Don’t they see how badly this is being received?—remember, it doesn’t need to be received well for them to feel good about it.

Narcissism is shame-based. In fact, I define narcissism as the shame-based fear of being ordinary.

Hubris sounds like an almost foolproof way to assert yourself in the world—no accomplishments, no respect, no social acceptance needed. You would, however, have to hone your bullying skills and be open to being seen as an asshole.

the head has a downward (rather than upward) tilt, with a widened stance, and less smiling. Not hard to picture.

defined power as the ability to achieve purpose and effect change.

Why have I stopped believing that we can recognize emotion in other people? Two reasons:

SKILL SET 1 FOR CULTIVATING MEANINGFUL CONNECTION SKILL SETS FOR CULTIVATING MEANINGFUL CONNECTION Developing GROUNDED CONFIDENCE (LEARNING & IMPROVING) Knowing and applying the language of human experience and emotion Practicing courage Rumbling with vulnerability Staying curious Practicing humility Committing to mastery and practice Feeling embodied and connected to self NEAR ENEMIES KNOWING AND PROVING Shaping emotion and experience to fit what we know Not owning our hurt, pain, and fear. "Everything is fine." Performing and/or avoiding vulnerability Challenging & criticizing more than exploring and contributing Confusing modesty and insecurity with humility Self-protecting with perfectionism

Thinking and acting our emotions without feeling them FAR ENEMIES PROTECTING FRAGILE SELF-WORTH Acting out, shutting down, or giving up Choosing armor or comfort over courage Shutting down or acting out in vulnerability Showing indifference, disinterest, defensiveness Hustling and hubris Getting stuck in fear and shame Feeling disembodied and disconnected from ourselves Click here to return to image