Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience

by Brené Brown

Researchers found that cancer patients on the receiving end of sympathy describe it as an unwanted, superficial, pity-based response that, although well intended, is focused on the observer’s discomfort rather than on alleviating the patient’s distress.

Maybe I have a different understanding of sympathy? More similar to affective empathy? What about "Please accept our deepest sympathy"? According to Merriam-Webster, sympathy is mutual susceptibility, an inclination to intellectual or emotional accord, or sharing the feelings of another. (Brown's affective empathy) *Sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing something difficult or painful. *Compassion adds to the emotional experience of sympathy an urgent desire to alleviate the person’s distress. *Pity implies contemptuous sorrow for the person who is in misery or distress—that is, a sense of disapproval and strong dislike. *Empathy is when you understand the feelings of another but do not necessarily share them. (Brown's cognitive empathy)