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October 11 - October 21, 2023
Her eyes very round, seven-year-old Altamira said, with perfect gravity, “That was some excellent Mary Poppins shit right there.”
“Some days, they’re the funniest, sweetest humans on the planet. Other days, I’m tempted to throw them out the window. Because they’re kids. Not because they’re different. Looking after them is difficult because, again, they’re kids.”
Jamie turned his head now to look Rosetta in the eye and smiled the warm, twinkly smile that he only ever gave the children.
Niceness is all about what we do when other people are looking. Kindness, on the other hand, runs deep. Kindness is what happens when no one’s looking.”
Then, as they walked back down the twisty street, he absently put himself between her and the icy wind coming from the left. It was impossible to stay cross with him after that.
Jamie shrugged. “In that case, a cyclone seems like a reasonable price to pay.”
Primrose’s expression was glacial. “You really do have the most irregular ideas,” she said severely. “You may find this hard to believe, Mika, but I was not alive four hundred years ago.
Jamie cast his eyes heavenward and muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like It’s not the only thing.
Do you maybe not want to kiss me? He’d almost laughed when she’d said it, a dark and mirthless laugh. If she only fucking knew.
“I could have another hundred years with Ken and still want more,” Ian said simply.
“Jamie,” Ken said tenderly. “You must understand why he’s so determined to find you the same kind of happiness he and I have had. You’ve been our boy since the day you arrived, ours to love and protect and give the world to. And I know you’re an adult now. In his more reasonable moods, Ian knows that, too. But you must remember that while twenty years have come and gone, we haven’t forgotten the brave, wounded boy who stormed into our lives that day, utterly alone, and we will do anything in our power to make sure you never have to be that boy again.”
“Mika has been so deeply hurt that she has taught herself to run before she can lay down roots, but the thing you have to remember, Jamie, is that when someone leaves, all you can do is leave a window open for them so that one day, if they choose, they can come back.”
Her smile right then was brighter than the fucking sun, and he had to look away, pretending there was nothing on his mind apart from a very pressing need to find honeysuckle.
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t, Mika. I’m not nice, remember?”
“You were her family. She had a responsibility to all of you.” “Remind me,” Jamie heard himself say as if from very far away, his voice low and icy and alien. “What exactly do you know about families?” It was a knife that went right between her ribs, a thrust that drew blood. And hadn’t he meant it to? Hadn’t he wanted her to bleed the way he was bleeding? So why, then, did he wish he could take it back?
“Don’t you wonder why your power gave you that nudge? It seems like a weird thing to do, doesn’t it? According to the Rules, you’re supposed to stay away from other witches, and yet it wanted you to come to us. What if it’s trying to tell you the Rules aren’t working? What if it’s saying the same thing to other witches? Maybe it wasn’t just a coincidence that you bumped into Hilda back there. I know there are real risks to witches gathering together, but if you ask me, it seems like magic, the force that binds you all together, doesn’t want you to be alone.”
Mika looked away. “I’m afraid I’ll never leave a mark on anybody.” It was quiet for so long that Mika wished she could take the too-reckless, too-honest words back, but then she heard him, rough and uneven and so quiet she almost missed it: “It’s a little late for that, I’m afraid.”
He rolled his eyes. “I don’t think there’s been a single moment since the day you told me we’re all made up of stardust that I haven’t wanted you.”
“It’s not always enough to go looking for the place we belong,” Jamie said, his eyes on the house ahead. “Sometimes we need to make that place.”
It’s a leap of faith to love people and let yourself be loved. It’s closing your eyes, stepping off a ledge into nothing, and trusting that you’ll fly rather than fall.
