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“And my koi. With their pond.” Ian cocked his head. “An actual pond?” Mika waited.
“This is either going to be the miracle you hoped for or it’s going to be an absolute fucking disaster.”
“We’ve talked about this,” said Jamie mildly. “Murder can’t be your first choice every time you don’t like something.”
Her eyes very round, seven-year-old Altamira said, with perfect gravity, “That was some excellent Mary Poppins shit right there.”
“The thing is, being a witch is extraordinary,” she said. “It might seem sometimes that all we are is odd and different, but the truth is, we’re amazing. We’re part of the earth below us and the sky above us. Our veins echo the patterns of rivers and roots. There’s sunlight and moonlight in our bones.”
Nowhere House was shifting in Mika’s mind. The new Nowhere House was messier than the first, a place made up of fractured pieces that, somehow, had come together to make something whole and wonderful.
Niceness is all about what we do when other people are looking. Kindness, on the other hand, runs deep. Kindness is what happens when no one’s looking.”
“What did he expect us to do inside a pantry anyway?” Mika couldn’t resist teasing him. “You can’t think of a single thing?”
She’d been hoping for a blush or a comically horrified look, but instead he held her gaze for a moment, his eyes dark, and she was the one who looked away first.
Do you maybe not want to kiss me? He’d almost laughed when she’d said it, a dark and mirthless laugh. If she only fucking knew.
“I could have another hundred years with Ken and still want more,” Ian said simply.
“Mika has been so deeply hurt that she has taught herself to run before she can lay down roots, but the thing you have to remember, Jamie, is that when someone leaves, all you can do is leave a window open for them so that one day, if they choose, they can come back.”
She smiled. “Where you found a family.” “I did.” And now I’ve found you, his mind added silently. And entirely without his permission.
“It’s not always enough to go looking for the place we belong,” Jamie said, his eyes on the house ahead. “Sometimes we need to make that place.”
“It means we know we fucked up. We know why you might leave for good. But we wanted you to know that we want you to stay. Not just for now. Always. So we’re leaving a window open so that, if you ever want to come home, you’ll know you’ll always be wanted.”
“It was all real. Mika. Look at me. The only thing we lied to you about was why we needed your help. Everything else, everything, was real. Is real. The way we feel about you is real.”
“Your heart’s the strongest fucking thing I’ve ever known. It makes me want to be braver, and happier.” His eyes held hers. “Stay. Stay with me.”
It’s a leap of faith to love people and let yourself be loved. It’s closing your eyes, stepping off a ledge into nothing, and trusting that you’ll fly rather than fall. I can’t step off the ledge for you, Mika. It’s something only you can do. And I know you will. It might not be right now, but I know you. Sooner or later, you’ll fly.”
“Then I’ll take anything you can give me,” Jamie replied. He took a step closer. “But just so you know, you can have all of me. If you want it.”
“You’re my ruin.”
“If you keep saying things like that, we won’t make it to the bed.”
