Atlas of the Heart: The Bestselling Guide to Understanding our Emotions and Developing Meaningful Connections

by Brené Brown

I’m sharing this research with you because I think it’s invaluable to understand. As Steve and I support our kids in learning how to cultivate meaningful connection with the people in their lives, we’ve always told them that good friends aren’t afraid of your light. They never blow out your flame and you don’t blow out theirs—even when it’s really bright and it makes you worry about your own flame. When something good happens to you, they celebrate your flame. When something good happens to them, you celebrate their flame. To illustrate, we’d have our kids hold their hands out, palms flat and open, and say, “If this is your flame and the wind picks up, good friends cup their hands around your flame to prevent it from going out. And you do the same for them.”