Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity

by Devon Price

took responsibility for others’ problems, tried to manage their emotions for them, and lacked any capacity to say “no” to unreasonable requests.

I studied other people’s mannerisms.

should be “systemic”

such as the much-reviled Autism Speaks.

I sleep with a stuffed animal every night, and a loud fan blowing to block out my neighborhood’s ambient noise.

Almost every person with a mental illness or disability has been crushed under the weight of neurotypical expectations, and has repeatedly tried and failed to earn acceptance by playing the rules of a game that was designed to harm us.

In the scientific literature, it’s arguable whether the disability should even be defined by the presence of clear behavioral signs, such as trouble reading social cues or hesitating to initiate contact with other

people.[8] Instead of looking to the external signals of Autism that others might pick up on, it’s important that we instead focus on the neurobiological markers of the neurotype, and the internal experiences and challenges that Autistic people themselves report.

We might maintain a secret blog about our interests, for example, or find socially acceptable ways to get our energy out, such as long-distance running or fidgeting with our phones.

neurotypicality is more of an oppressive cultural standard than it actually is a privileged identity

would make observations that were just, literal facts, like oh hey you got a haircut, and people would think I was making fun of them,” he tells me.

We tend to be pretty rational people, and many of us are already inclined to analyze our thoughts and feelings very closely (sometimes excessively so).

It also perpetuates the idea that the only disabled lives worth living are those that can still manage to be productive or impressive in some conventional way.

Many people who either were labeled as having Asperger’s in the 1990s or are considered “high functioning” now have similar stories of being hyperverbal toddlers. It often led to us being filtered into gifted education programs rather than special education,

You’re only seen as less adult, and supposedly less of a person,[3] if you need help in ways that disrupt the illusions of self-sufficiency.

Often the fears that CBT therapists train their patients to view as irrational (if I say the wrong thing, I’ll lose my job and wind up on the street!) are completely rational for Autistics, and rooted in genuine experience.

In a lot of ways, I became a more autistic person when I got sober.”

In order to get sober, sometimes you have to be willing to be more Autistic.

The pain of an empty stomach was physically satisfying to me;

the throb in my legs after two hours of playing Dance Dance Revolution on calorie counter mode made me feel like I’d finally reined in an out-of-control body.

He has some relatives that he has never seen the faces of, because he’s only ever met them at big family gatherings where everyone blends into a sea of muddy, vague shapes.

The only thing that brings Angel back is having plenty of time to rest and disengage.

People don’t literally become “blurry” for me when I’m overwhelmed, but I do stop gazing at people’s faces and often fail to recognize people I know or hear their voices unless they get in my face and wave their hands.

half of all Autistics suffer from alexithymia,[34] or the inability to recognize and name emotions.

So when we’re upset or uncomfortable, we often fail to recognize it until we’re nearly on the verge of a complete meltdown. As we begin to unmask, we stop monitoring the reactions of other people so closely and with so much hypervigilance; this allows us to check in with our bodies more. Our reflexive self-censorship may begin to reduce, allowing us to notice our discomfort and honor it.

Today I’m sometimes able to notice in the heat of the moment that I’m uncomfortable with the topic of conversation, for instance, or the way someone is pushing me to do something I don’t wish to do, and I can tell them to stop;

But the more we work to normalize our neurotype, and the more we loudly, proudly take ownership of our Autistic identities, the more institutions will be forced to change to accommodate us and others who have been repeatedly shut out.

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What’s really important here is to focus on how neurodiversity has brought pleasure, connection, and meaning to your life.

“Reframe failure as data,” Marta writes, “and everything changes.”

You have to be able to say no to certain unreasonable expectations in order to genuinely say “yes” to the things you care about.

Disappoint someone: Practice saying “no,” “I’m not available to do that,” “I’m uncomfortable with that,” or “I have to go now” without any explanation or apology.