On a whim, I take out my phone and google ‘counselling’. I didn’t realise how many different types of therapy there were out there: Cognitive behavioural! Psychoanalysis! Interpersonal! I’m overwhelmed. It’s like being in an ice cream parlour and being asked to pick a flavour. Where can I just get some plain vanilla lying-on-a-couch-please-fix-me-I’m-broken therapy?