“It'll be fine,” Jason said. “I'm great at fighting evil. I mean, did I hurt the bad guy? No. Did he kill me? Yes, he did. But we won! Will I get credit? Probably not. All the women will be like ‘hey, Humphrey, your shoulders are obviously so large because of a glandular condition, but we’re totally into that.’ Then Humphrey will be all ‘sorry, gaggle of women, but I have to mourn my even more handsome friend,’ and they’ll be all ‘hey, we’re super ready to comfort you,’ and he’ll be all ‘well, I suppose my handsome friend did show me how to whip cream.’ Then they’ll go off to a local purveyor
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