Bitter (Pet #0.5)

by Akwaeke Emezi

Who the fuck are you?” It was an excellent question. The best question, in fact. Bitter knew she had spent a long time hiding what she actually believed from people, and it was a hard habit to break, even when someone was looking at her with the amount of hurt Eddie had in her eyes. Only Blessing and now Aloe knew the truth about how Bitter did want a better world, but also about how hope had been beaten out of her, how it was safer to curl up in the pessimistic dark because then none of the horrific things would hurt as much because you’d made part of yourself dead to them, dead to anything else. Bitter knew that neither of them wanted her to live in that dark place, but Blessing was careful. She wasn’t the type to barge in and shine a light in places someone had curled over to hide. Aloe was the opposite. He barged in, bulldozing his hope and belief into dusty corners, shaking out the rugs and asking questions about what was underneath. He was clumsy and gentle, annoying and soothing at the same time. Bitter didn’t want to turn into someone who kept talking about her fear. Fear was fine, but showing it made you weak.