Wild and Wicked Things

by Francesca May

Mam never said so, but eventually she expected me to marry. It had been four years since Sam died, and my inevitable future grew closer every month. I couldn’t put it off much longer. And then…? That was the part that scared me. The picture of a life already lived, so predictable I could write it point by point in my journal and tick it off. Marriage, babies, hard work, and never enough money to stretch…

Living with my mother, losing Sam: both had made me small-minded, turned me into a mouse, quiet and obedient and lonely and sad, when all I wanted was to be more. I wanted to be adventurous. I wanted to be bold.

“That you’re not like other women.” I sipped my coffee, purposefully taking my time in answering so she knew that I meant what I said. “I’m exactly like other women,” I said. “That is why they’re afraid of me.”

Lilith knew about money. It bought the wrong people the right things.

“They killed her. People where I grew up didn’t like what my aunt did. Once the rumour starts that you help women, that you value them—that you love them—that’s it. The men came for us. My aunt told me to run, so I did.

“There she is.” “What?” I asked, furious. “You. The real you. Not the soft, kind, gentle Annie. Not the light that people think of when they picture sunshine. This is you. Sunlight that burns, blinding. Real, vital—strong. You seem so mild, but I know you’re secretly angry all the time. Nobody wants to escape if they already have everything they need.”