I thought that I should want what Peter and Iris had, a simpler, less turbulent love, parent and child instead of the two-bodied creature Iris and I became together. But I could not make myself want it. I couldn’t get enough of our push and pull, the spell we cast upon one another, our love like a secret chamber we shared, and always, no matter where we were or what we were doing, we were also there in that chamber together. I loved to love her this way, even as I worried that this love might not be what a child needs, that it might also be a kind of harm.
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