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—And I let the ocean carry me away.
There’s only so much time a person’s allowed to grieve before it becomes an inconvenience, I’ve come to learn.
Im sorry baby :(
But then, it’s over. He’s squeezing his eyes shut, and time’s speeding up, and I’m no longer the center of his fucking world. And it hurts. It hurts. How does it fucking hurt this bad?
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Being here.”
“Will and Way. We’re a team. Always.”
“Always.”
“The sun will always
rise again.” I shrug. “You just need to make it through the night. Take it day by day—moment by moment if you need to—until you reach the other side. Nothing lasts forever.”
“Are you real?”
Waylon, baby lol
Will Foster was a bright spot in a sea of darkness.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
My finger’s on his cheek. How the hell did that get there?
“You put it ...
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“Can you read m...
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“No, dumbass,” he says. “You said th...
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“These are gonna be the death of me one day,”
“I’m not sorry,” I tell him, “for going after the person I thought was hurting you back then. It’s a promise I should have never made in the first place.”
“But I am sorry it cost me you.”
“Stop,”
“And I’m sorry it was nev...
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“Stop me,”
“because I fucking can’t.”
“I hate you.”
If this is hate, baby, I think, licking across his teeth, I don’t know if I’d survive your love.
“Did you for once think that maybe, just maybe, I’m here because I fucking care about you?”
“I just wanted to keep you safe.”
“I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I know, Way,”
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?” he says simply. His mouth ticks up. “It made me laugh thinking about it. I couldn’t get the words out of my head after that. They just kept playing on this...endless, delirium-ridden loop. Like a song stuck in my head on repeat. I just kept thinking how it was a play on our names, and it just...it hit me.”
So long as I had the will to make it through another day, I’d be okay. There would still be a me. A Way.”
“There’re a lot of meanings behind this symbol, but that’s the one I chose for myself. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
All I know is that today, I made the decision to let him go once and for all. And Waylon stopped me.
“You were...fuck, you were everything to me,”
“You were mine and—shit.”
“I think maybe it was your eyes first,”
“I didn’t know blue eyes could be so...dark. So steady...so...”
“Fuck, I don’t even know what that means. I just...I liked how you looked at me,”
“What it did to me...I never knew a smile could make me feel so full. Like I was worth something. Like I mattered. And I remember wanting to see it as often as possible.”
“And all I could think was that I wanted to kiss you. Because who else other than my best friend with the eyes like the ocean I’d always wanted to see, and the smile that made me feel like I was something—”
“I was so scared,”
“So fucking scared you’d laugh at me. Or push
me away. But you ...
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“You didn’t, and everything was so perfect, and all I wanted to do was keep kissing you. All I want is to fucking kiss you—”
I am drowning. Drowning in overwhelming want for this guy. This fucking guy who just told me I was once his everything, when I was sure I was only ever his nothing.
“You talk to all your hook-ups like this?”
“You’re not a fucking hook-up.”
“No. I’m...
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“It’s always quieter when I’m with you.”
