Where There's a Will (Lost Boys, #1)

by Jessie Walker

Smirking, he presses his mouth to where his fingers just were. “Hi.” Annnndddddd there goes my boxers. And probably every pair of panties in the room. Why did I think this was a good idea again?

But then, it’s over. He’s squeezing his eyes shut, and time’s speeding up, and I’m no longer the center of his fucking world. And it hurts. It hurts. How does it fucking hurt this bad?

There’s an ocean of years separating us. Secrets and unspoken questions sluicing through the waves like grains of sand. And yet, it all falls away in this moment. This stretched out, heartbeat of a moment where I’m suddenly eleven years old again. And there’s this boy—this beautiful, raven-haired boy with eyes like a sunlit forest—staring back at me as if he’s seconds from diving into the water to reach me. As if he’s been waiting and waiting and waiting for a break in the waves. A chance.

The girl who would one day introduce me to the boy standing in front of me who made me believe just for a second that happily-ever-afters could be found outside of books. This boy who’s now nearly a man, and represents everything I never wanted to face.

God, I hate how he says my name. Like it was only ever meant to be on his lips. How fucked up is that?

This is what I came back for. Not for answers. Not for closure. I came back to remember what it was like to be happy. To be whole.

But if hurting him with the truth is what it takes to prevent history from repeating itself, I will happily fall on that sword for him. A thousand fucking times over. I’ll piss him off until he’s old and gray if that’s what it takes. His demons got nothing on me. If tough love is what he needs, I will give it to him. Even if he ends up hating me once and for all.

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?” he says simply. His mouth ticks up. “It made me laugh thinking about it. I couldn’t get the words out of my head after that. They just kept playing on this...endless, delirium-ridden loop. Like a song stuck in my head on repeat. I just kept thinking how it was a play on our names, and it just...it hit me.”

All I know is that today, I made the decision to let him go once and for all. And Waylon stopped me.

I can’t fall yet, not when I can’t be certain he’ll still be there to catch me.

I am drowning. Drowning in overwhelming want for this guy. This fucking guy who just told me I was once his everything, when I was sure I was only ever his nothing.

I was wrong the night of the storm. There isn’t nothing inside me. There’s everything. And Will’s been the key to unleashing it all along.

face. “Is that it? Do you want me to hurt you?” I want you to love me. The thought comes so sudden, so unbidden, how I don’t come right out and say it is a feat of restraint I didn’t know I was capable of.