Do Not Disturb

by Freida McFadden

I wish it could have been different. I wish Derek had been the man he promised to be. Or better yet, I wish I had listened to Claudia and stayed the hell away from him.

He would be nice for weeks until I forgot the fight and remembered the man I had fallen in love with. So I stayed.

But even if you do not know your fortune, that does not keep it from coming true.”

“Do not worry.” Greta’s voice breaks into my thoughts. “You will find love. I promise you.” I cock my head to the side. “Is that what you see in my future?” “No. You are young and beautiful. Some things are simply obvious.”

The unfairness of it all hits me. Why couldn’t I have married a good guy like Nick? Why did I have to vow to spend my life with a narcissistic sociopath?

He was only trying to be a good guy. I just don’t have much experience with good guys lately.

You don’t even realize you have everything until your whole life falls apart.

But the scariest part is I feel nothing right now. Not even the slightest trace of desire. And I’m too tired to care.

I’m worried that any day now, Nick will throw up his hands. Tell me he’s done with me. He’s had enough. It hasn’t happened yet, but it will. A person can only take so much.

Ultimately, I’m just too tired to go through with it. I’m literally too tired to kill myself.

Maybe we used up all our happiness. Maybe everybody only gets so much.

I wish I could stop missing him.

I had no clue how dark my life had become until the fog lifted.