The Path out of Loneliness: Finding and Fostering Connection to God, Ourselves, and One Another

by Mark Mayfield

Before I conclude this chapter, I want to make a clear distinction: Loneliness is not solitude, and solitude is not loneliness. As we have discussed, loneliness is a state of being unseen or unnoticed relationally, mentally, emotionally, physically, and/or spiritually. It can be driven by lack of purpose or meaning, relationship, and/or identity and is marked by a deep sense of hopelessness. Solitude, on the other hand, is a by-product of discovering identity, purpose, and hope. Henri Nouwen stated: We enter into solitude first of all to meet our Lord and to be with him and him alone. . . . Only in the context of grace can we face our sin; only in the place of healing do we dare to show our wounds; only with a single-minded attention to Christ can we give up our clinging fears and face our own true nature. . . . . . . Solitude is . . . the place where Christ remodels us in his own image and frees us from the victimizing compulsions of the world.[3]