To Hate Adam Connor

by Ella Maise

Now…do I let love in? Nope. I try my hardest not to, thank you very much.

make sense.

I have all kinds of daddy and mommy issues.

SLAY

And isn’t that how it goes? You get over the guy way before you get over the memories.”

“You know you’re my person, right?” she asked a minute later. A small smile played on my lips. “Grey’s Anatomy? Like Christina and Meredith?”

AHH CHRISTINA AND MEREDITH!!

Gently pushing the hair out of her face, he gave her a warm smile, one that clearly said, I’m deeply in love with you,

“I wanna lick him up, Olive. Like really bad. I wanna peel him like a banana and…”

i get it girl

He was practically dangling himself in front of me, daring me.

“Would you like my daddy to sign a picture for you?” He glanced back at Jason. “Girls love that too.”

this kid is fucking amazing.

There was something special about falling in love with fictional characters through words.

TRUE.

Hell, I was seconds away from letting my inner singer out to play and singing him “Pillowtalk” by Zayn.

PILLOWTALK! MY ENEMY, MY ALLY!

“Because if I fall in love with him I won’t survive that fall.”

ouch.

“Because I’m not supposed to like you.”

Danger, Lucy. Run. Hide your heart.

“What did you wrap around your heart to protect yourself, beautiful girl?” I asked, letting my fingertip trail down from her cheek to her chin. Her eyes cut to mine, and I knew I had her attention. “I see you unwrap it, whatever it is you have around your heart, so I know it’s there. You change when you are with your friends, with Aiden, but as soon as you can, you wrap it back up. I hope it’s not a steel cage, Lucy. I hope you’re being gentle with your heart, taking care of it for me.”

I LOVE ADAM

The feeling of security that someone was there to hold you up when gravity was too much to handle on your own, that you had someone you could trust enough to let go.

i’m gonna cry.

“Do you like dancing?” I asked, ignoring common sense. “No.” “Oh,” I said, surprised. “Okay.” “Ask me anyway,” he countered. I hesitated. “Will you dance with me?” “Yes.”

“I’m going to un-break your heart, Lucy,” he promised in a low voice.

“And I’m going to make it whole again. I’m going to heal it so you can feel what you do to me.”

ahh

“I’ll hold you up, Lucy. You can trust me. I see who you are. I see who you are, and I want you to choose me. I want you to open your eyes and look at me so you can see that I have what it takes, that I can take care of your heart for you.”

this man is PERFECT

“You wouldn’t be good to my heart, Adam Connor,” she whispered against my lips. “You’re already making it hurt.”

Did she know her hand was shaking as it lay on my cheek? That she was falling for me even as I kissed her like she was already mine? Did she know how much she was ruining me?

That I wouldn’t let her go. I’d be her home. I’d give her a family. I’d be her family. Her heart.

If she had a baby, I’d give it my world. In return, all I’d take from her would be the battered yet still strong heart in her chest.

“I’m just a boy…standing in front of a girl, asking her to love him.”

OMG

I was dating Adam freaking Connor.

slay queen

it was Lucy who took my hand in hers and made me feel like I had conquered the world.

“You scare me—no, I promised to be honest with you: you terrify me, Lucy, and I love it. I will never take you for granted, and knowing that you won’t let me…you’re the one I want, Lucy Meyer. You’re the one I fell in love with.”

“Don’t hurt me, Adam. Don’t disappoint me.” “Never, Lucy.”

AHHH