To Love Jason Thorn

by Ella Maise

How they stood together as a family was burned into my mind as a happy memory, and then I got into the car and disappeared from their life.

Then like every other fleeting moment in life, my first love slowly faded into time.

Soon enough, I fell into a fitful sleep where I was still a little girl who dreamed and wished for things she could never reach.

You’re a calm waterfall, a purring fucking cat.

Suddenly she lifted her gaze and our eyes met. We both smiled at each other. Before I could enjoy the moment myself, every pap around us saw the quick exchange between us and went into a frenzy, yelling our names louder.

I entered the room after her and saw Olive sleeping in the middle of the bed, her legs pulled up into her stomach. All my anger melted off me and my heart settled down. I would have to sit down and think about what that meant.

“You should look at me like you love me, Olive, the way I’m looking at you.”

Right at that moment, he was just mine. My dream boy. My childhood crush. My first love. My only love. And now my pretend husband.

She was seeing me, and maybe for the first time, I was seeing her too. Her voice called to me as much as her eyes did, but then she hid those beautiful eyes from me, and I found myself crossing the room to get to her.

Then my lips were on hers, and her lips were on mine. We kissed long enough to cover years. In front of everyone, her lips became mine and I took her breath for myself, because I needed it more than she did.

I wanted to own those secret smiles just as much I wanted to own her beautiful heart. I wanted to be the reason for their existence.

My heart was ready to be hers if she wanted to take it for herself and keep it for an eternity.

My heart ached with love for a little girl who in some ways had always belonged to me.

“Grab on to my hair and do whatever the hell you want to do to me.”

“In all the ways that matter, I’m your first, Olive. Do you understand?”

“You’re perfect sweetheart. You’re perfect and now you are all mine.”

“All you have to do is ask, sweetheart. I’ll give you everything you need.”

“Is your heart still beating just for me, Olive?” he asked softly, his voice low and sweet.

“I never want you to run away from me again. If you do, I will always come after you. I want you to remember that. That being said, I will never give you a reason to run away from me either.”

“Don’t finish that sentence. Yes, we act like nothing happened because nothing happened. You are my wife, Olive. You already made the mistake of saying yes, and I’m not letting that go. You can’t take it back.”

When I felt his erection, I gasped. “What are you doing?” I asked in panic, glancing at the door over his shoulder. “Falling in love with you.” “Right now? You’re falling in love with me right this minute? Sure.” Dipping his head down, he gently nipped at my lips. “No, you little smartass. I already fell—a little too hard if you ask me. Now it’s your turn.” “My turn for what?” “To say you love me so I can close my eyes and fall all the way.” “I didn’t exactly hear you say you love me so why am I saying it? I think you should say it first.”

“I told you that I would never forget you Olive Thorn, and it looks like my heart never did, sweetheart,” I tugged a piece of her hair, the familiar gesture making her lips wobble. “My world is a less scary place with you in it, baby. I will kiss you a thousand times every day if that’s what it takes to keep you in love with me for the rest of our days.”

“I never want you to feel someone else’s lips against what’s mine. I am it for you, Olive, the one, the right one—whatever you want to call it, I’m that.”