Mad About You

by Mhairi McFarlane

Then it was like we were married and the temper tantrums started and, well, you know how he operates. It was like quicksand.

I was the same, I know what he does to your head.”

You have to see him for what he is, and that takes time,”

What you need more than anything is distance and perspective and you don’t have them, he makes sure of that.”

“Money is a drug, it’s toxic. Quincy Jones says of creativity: ‘God walks out of the room when you’re thinking about money,’”

I think she might miss us, in the future. She’s never understood the value of things that can’t be bought.”

What happened to your goodbyes to me, saying you wanted to stay on good terms, be there for me if I ever wanted to talk?” Jon looked uneasy. “I realized it wasn’t being reciprocated.”

You think you treat women as equals, but you don’t. You liked and respected me for as long as I was your girlfriend.

“I always knew you weren’t in love with me.”

Then there you were. Everything I didn’t know I wanted, and somehow that is the most addictive thing of all.

I decided to be the best partner I could be, to throw my energies into that and hope either that would be enough, or that you’d fall in love along the way.

as you said, you didn’t feel what you needed to feel, and I think you knew that very early on.

You’re too emotionally intelligent not to have known how far apart o...

I’m truly sorry for the ordeal you had before you met me, a lot makes more sense now that I know about him.

But my God, you made us both pay for it,”

you give something bad an importance, then you let it define you. You’ve given it power, that’s what I thought.

by not facing it, I was giving it power over me.”

“I didn’t set out to hurt you, Jon. I felt safe with you, and in the end that wa...

Some lines crossed can’t be walked back.

“It’s like we’re the issue and he’s trying to fix us,”

don’t know how we get ourselves, or rather, how he gets us, to a place where we tell ourselves it’s our fault all the time.

The way he undermines you gradually:

And I want to be me again. I want to remind him of who I am. I want to remind me of who I am!”

“Now it’s like I see everything. It’s a cycle, and you have to break a cycle.”

“Oh no. No violence. It’s emotional torture.”

Assume nothing, Harriet. She may be doing what he wants.

“Or maybe it’s more honest and realistic to say, if I have anything left to lose, I’m prepared to lose it, to see this through.” “You’re very selfless.”

“His friends and family don’t know they’re his enablers, that’s how good he is at compartmentalizing,”

as my boss always says, we are where we are.”

Courage calls to courage everywhere.

It was mind over body, executive function at war with your lizard brain.

This is my favourite one of the three of us. Keep it somewhere safe and close, and we’re always with you.

Acts of kindness, acts of thoughtfulness: they could echo down the years long after the person who had offered them was gone. This was worth knowing.

“You think I shouldn’t do it?” Harriet had asked.

think you can do anything.”

to wait until the right time to read my mum’s letter? That I’d know when the right time was?”

She wanted that to stay between the two of them.

Guilt: once again it was useful to name the emotion. (Unnamed fears are the worst fears. Was that Cal?)

“Let’s hope that’s what they say, not that I’m an exceptional piece of work.”

It’s a lovely quality that you make other people’s feelings your problem, but that can go too far.”

Don’t think: walk through it.

She recalled Cal’s advice. People do lie, all the time, for any reason.

“I can’t believe I’d do this either,”

“It’s an extreme measure, to stop you from ruining another woman’s life.”

“Behind closed doors, Scott is a vicious little bully. The girl in the veil over there described it perfectly. No one ever

believes you, because he’s such a charmer when there’s other people around.”

I hate how you’ve treated me, and I hate how you’ve treated them.”

Harriet had never been so impressed by someone in her life.

started taking beta-blockers last year for panic attacks, because I was so scared of your temper.

She was cleansed. It was anger. Her anger at Scott had gone. She was free of him.