The No-Show

by Beth O'Leary

Every day is a good day, if you look hard enough.

Love yourself first. Don’t wait for him to do it for you.”

This is all the love I need. The kind that’s mine.

“We’re going to do today five minutes at a time,”

It’s one of those feelings, happiness. One of the ones you don’t really notice is gone until it comes back.

“That’s the difference between a friend and a lover, Jane. A friend doesn’t need the whole of you. If you don’t want to tell me about your life before we met, I don’t give a toss—I’m in it for the Jane that’s here and now, aren’t I? I take you as you come. But if I loved you, I’d want everything. Wouldn’t I? Don’t you want all of him? All his secrets? All the versions of Joseph that exist out there, all the people he is when he’s at work and with his mother and with the lads at the pub?”

Being a human is messy, Jane, Aggie told her the other day. No amount of rules can fix that. Sometimes you just need to let yourself feel something, even if it’s ugly.

You can stop seeing a person when you’ve loved them for this long and you know they’re not going anywhere.

That sort of kindness, it gets into your bones. Once you’ve felt it, you can’t help but look for ways to pass the feeling on.”

Most people are shit, what are you going to do about it? And she thinks, I’m going to notice all the ones who are doing their very best not to be.

I want to know you, all your habits, all the secrets you’ve held in. You’re not on your own now, Jane. You’ve got me. Always.”