Finding Me

by Viola Davis

“Have you prayed for someone to come into your life?” He just stared at me. That’s what he asked me next. It was a big moment for me. I said, “No, but I’m doing the work. I’m in therapy. I’ve gotta clean things up before I can invite anyone into my life to love me.” There was silence. He said, “This is what I want you to do.” I was so sensitive about not having anyone in my life that I paid attention to him. He said, “Do you know what you want?” “Yes, I know what I want,” I said. “Are you sure you know what you want? You gotta be sure you know what you want.” “Joseph, I’m sure about what I want,” I said. “I’m a grown woman.” “Okay, this is what I want you to do. When you go to bed at night, I want you to get on your knees and ask God for exactly what you want.” I did not have anyone in my life but I had no response to this surprise advice. He said, “You just give God your list. The frivolous stuff and the meaningful stuff.” I was skeptical that this advice would change my situation. He said, “You got it?” “Okay, Joseph.” He said, “Are you gonna do it?” “I will. I’ll do that.” He said, “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’ll do it.” He said, “You gotta be really specific.”