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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Selena .
Read between
October 1 - October 3, 2021
I couldn’t forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified. –F. Scott Fitzgerald
Welp, I think I see where this is going.
Content Warning: Y’all, seriously. If you have ANY triggers, just STAHP reading already!
Y'all should know by now!
“I think you need therapy.”
LOTS of it.
“No girls,” I snap.
Oh NOW that's a problem.
I’m done hurting girls.
Gee, how chivalrous.
My fault.
Honey, no.
There’s something important— And then it’s gone.
I'm already crying wtf! 😭
I have to get her.
Oh no. 😭😭😭
I fucking hate hospitals. The drugs that cloud your mind, the helplessness, the way they keep you alive when you don’t want any fucking part of it. It’s all way too familiar by now. The way they think they’re saving you, but they’re destroying you. The way they keep you from saving her after you destroyed her.
Harper was no threat to my family. She was a threat to me.
“We need to act like everything’s normal,” I say. For a minute, we’re frozen in confusion. None of us have the slightest idea how to be normal.
🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣
The girls who die in this town don’t get funerals, don’t leave bodies. They simply vanish, as if the town itself swallows them alive. The boys don’t get funerals, either, but they don’t disappear. The boys leave bodies—with nothing left inside them. Our ghosts haunt Faulkner, too.
“Good girl,” he says, stroking my cheek. “Beautiful.”
He's so terrifying, honestly. Wtf??
“Better than the last one you had,” Mom says. “I mind my own business, but that don’t mean I didn’t see you come home with bruises more than you should.”
Woah. Wouldn't expect that from her.
I touch the charm, a diamond ballerina.
Ope.
There’s a name written on the tag.
Okay, figured that much.
“Don’t you think it’s weird that she just… Vanished? I mean, I’m not saying you’re not worth going off the deep end over, or that you couldn’t eviscerate her heart so completely she could never love again. She liked to play it cool, but she really loved you, Royal. Like, the kind of love that eats you alive, and you’re never the same again.”
If she’d sell my dignity for a scholarship, why wouldn’t she sell videos of herself fucking other guys when she was with me?
I'm confused because they were never official. Right?
I broke her on purpose, but piece by piece, I’m the one falling to pieces.
“If something happens to me… I mean, I have Olive. If I ever don’t come home, can you get her and keep her safe?”
Oh no, why is she worried??
She either filmed that before we met, and she’s a fucking liar, or when we were together, and she’s a liar and a cheater.
But y'all weren't official!?!
“Find your sun, Harper. That’s all I want for you.”
🖤🌻
“Thank you for saving my life,” I whisper. The corner of his mouth tugs up the slightest bit. “Ditto.” I let out a quiet laugh through the tears. “I didn’t do anything.” “You never know.” Sometimes you do, though.
Even a mutilated, broken thing can find the sun.
Only Royal can make ripples in the serene surface of my nothingness.
“Talk to me, Harper.”
This is surreal. 🤨
“No one here knows me,” he says quietly, sliding onto the seat next to me. “Except you.”
If there’s a merciful god, I should get to feel nothing when I look into the devil’s eyes. I fucking earned it.
I hope to hell it’s a coincidence and Royal isn’t behind this, because the last thing I want is to owe him.
You NEVER will.
“You made all this happen, I figure you’re old enough to party with us.”
'Party'
“You matter, Harper.”
“I don’t care about her, or you, or if you’re lying through your teeth. I could matter to you, or the whole town, or no one, and it wouldn’t make a difference. I don’t matter to me.”
“I mean, that’s good, right? It was just us.”
Jfc, he's cracked.
“You’re not branding me with the word Doll.”
Well it would be llod so...
there comes a point when being a spineless little coward doesn’t make you pathetic, it makes you evil.”
The paint is so beautiful I can’t help but run my fingers along it—it almost looks black, but up close it’s actually a deep, dark, shimmering red color, like blood mixed with liquid obsidian.
Like, true cherry red? Like, cherry pie? 🧐
“He’s your cousin,”
Yeah. 😬 That.
“I like playing with fire, too, when it looks like you.”
“Then let me breathe for you until you remember how. Because I’m not going anywhere, Harper.”
OMG I wrote something so similar! Chills!
“You’re wrong.”
Oh no. 😭😭😭
“He was a hero. I hope they put up a statue of him outside the school.”
💀🤣🤣🤮
“Now, do you remember what you had me do the first time I came to your table?”
💋 🥾...✋💥🍆 🤣🤣🤣
There’s a beat of silence, and then about half the café starts applauding. My gaze darts around as I try to figure out if they’re clapping for me or Duke. That’s when I see almost everyone clapping is female.
😌🖤🤣🤣
“Are you going to slap me in the face with your pussy? I mean, if we’re reversing roles here. That’s what I did to you.” “And I slapped you back.”
💀🤣🤣🤣🤦🏻♀️
“I don’t want to be a Dolce girl. I know you boys are used to sitting on the throne by yourselves, but this year, I’ll be up there with you. You can still be the kings. But make way for the fucking queen.”
“What’s going on? You’re really not coming?” “Not even if you offered to sit on my face while Gloria rides my super fine dick.”
💀💀💀🤣
“Fine,” he says. “But this time, whatever happens is on you. Consider yourself a murderer if they kill me. And out of respect for our friendship, try not to fall on any of their dicks until my body’s cold.”
I love him so much. 🥰🤣🤣
“How are you a Swan?”
Have a seat.
“You’re unspeakably awesome,” I say, squeezing his finger before releasing him. “You might even say super mega fine.”
🤣🤣🤣
