All about Me!: My Remarkable Life in Show Business

by Mel Brooks

They said she could hold a note longer than the Chase National Bank.

The normal cholesterol levels for healthy people should be between 150 and 200. I would say the average cholesterol of the sour-cream-loving Jews who came to the Borscht Belt was probably 1500–2000.

“Go forth and fail.” He was absolutely on target, because nothing helps you to succeed like failure.

“Churchill! With his cigars. With his brandy. And his rotten painting, rotten! Hitler, there was a painter. He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon! Two coats!” Nobody could have delivered those lines as sensationally as Kenny Mars.

My dear Mel, What a splendid entertainment, one that should give you no anxieties of any kind. I thank you most humbly for your dedication and I offer you further thanks on behalf of the Golden Gate Bridge. With kindest regards and again my warmest congratulations. Hitch

I truly believe that when you’re with the right person, they love you not in spite of your flaws, but because of them.

That reminds me of a great joke Carl Reiner made on eating truffles in a French restaurant. He said to the waiter in perfect French: “Mes compliments au cochon qui a trouvé ces truffles.” (My compliments to the pig who found these truffles!) So