“By the way,” I said, “Daniel finally sent me a dick pic. A really good one.” “Ooooooh, can I see it?” “No, definitely not.” She jabbed a finger at me. “See?! You do like him! That was a test and you failed!” “How did I—because I won’t show you a penis sent to me in trust?” “Dick pics are community property unless you’re staking a claim on the guy who owns it. You’ve got a little flag that you just planted on Daniel’s peen, it’s waving in the breeze and it says Ali on it.”
