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I couldn’t say I could really fault him for chasing down things that could hurt him. I couldn’t stop doing it either.
Don’t worry, Neil works until nine. I always check his schedule. I like to spray a little vinegar into his locker while he’s on shift. Let him go home smelling like a salad.”
I couldn’t even muster the energy to care about it. It felt completely meaningless to me. Everything did. This is what depression felt like. I thought it had been bad back when I was with Neil. But this was a darkness I’d never experienced before. My body felt atrophied, like the simple act of getting up was a feat. Nothing made me smile. None of the things I typically loved appealed to me. And it occurred to me that I had drowned. I didn’t save myself. And now I was just floating, weightless, dead inside.
It amazed me how easily we just started again. But then it didn’t. Because if I didn’t see her for twenty years, it would still be like this. It was like this from the moment I’d met her, and it would always be like this between us.
“Neil,” she said, looking surprised. “You in the wrong room? There’s some orphans downstairs. If you hurry you can catch them, tell them Santa isn’t real.”
“A toast,” Bri said. “To my soon-to-be-ex-husband. May he get that antibiotic-resistant strain of chlamydia.”
Then we took a sip and winced. “Oh, my God.” I coughed. “Whooo!” She shook her head, choking. “Wow. My check-liver light just went on.”
I couldn’t in my wildest dreams have imagined how utterly unlivable this life would be without him in it, until it actually happened.
Which part was romantic? Him holding me hostage in my own home? Or him finally getting the help he needed so he could be a halfway decent human being worth dating?
I wanted everyone to see me with the man I loved. Because I was proud to love him in front of my world. I would have been proud if he’d come in his jeans and a T-shirt, mud on his boots, tattoos and all. He could have walked in with Kevin Bacon, and I would have smiled and dove into his arms.
Because sometimes family isn’t what you’re born into. Sometimes family is found.
“I don’t even want to think about the shitty dick pics that’d be floating around if it wasn’t for me. You owe your entire marriage to my expertise.
Doug had followed Briana around with his guitar at our wedding. She’d found a spray bottle full of water and used it for the rest of the night to squirt him when he got too close.
