The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture

by Gabor Maté

If trauma entails a disconnection from the self, then it makes sense to say that we are being collectively flooded with influences that both exploit and reinforce trauma. Work pressures, multitasking, social media, news updates, multiplicities of entertainment sources—these all induce us to become lost in thoughts, frantic activities, gadgets, meaningless conversations. We are caught up in pursuits of all kinds that draw us on not because they are necessary or inspiring or uplifting, or because they enrich or add meaning to our lives, but simply because they obliterate the present.

But there is such a thing as a lust for life, and then there is being driven to derive one’s sense of self from constant activity, even to the point of not being able to pause for self-care when disaster strikes.

It’s simple economics, really: artificial inflation (of self-concept, of identity, of material ambition) is bound to lead to a downturn or even a crash when the bubble inevitably bursts.

Pleasure, Rob Lustig pointed out, is “This feels good. I want more.” Happiness, on the other hand, is “This feels good. I am contented. I am complete.”

But we also ingest the pain of wounded people, packaged as entertainment, to dull or perhaps validate our own distress.