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“You’re beautiful, Colton. Sometimes I can’t breathe when I look at you.”
I love you I love you I love you I love you—
I love you I love you I love you.
I love you I love you I love you.
I love you I love you I love you—
Colton cradled Nick’s face and kissed him as his vision went watery and burning tears began a slow slide down his temples.
He loved that he and Nick shared a love for football. He just loved being with Nick more than hurling footballs at the crossbar of the uprights.
He wasn’t arrogant enough to think Colton would pick him over football and a life of fame, and he was too much of a coward to hear Colton say that to his face.
He’d never seen the emotions in Justin’s eyes that he saw now. Horror. Revulsion. Disgust. Betrayal. Anguish.
“Colton is just the perfect son for you, isn’t he, Dad? A football player. A manly man. What, I leave, and you grab on to the guy you wish you had for a son?”
Lmao why would he fuck a son???
Had Nick really said all that? It wasn’t going to last. It was just summer.
Now he was nothing but pieces, the same broken jigsaw puzzle he’d always been, kicked over and scattered by other people.
Didn’t you know this was how it was going to end? It always ends like this. People leave when you’re yourself.
Kissing Colton in public could cost Nick millions.
given the choice between letting Nick go and holding his hand in the park, Colton knew what he’d pick.
Was he surprised, though? Justin was always going to come before Colton.
He’d carved his own heart out of his chest and laid it on Nick’s pillow for him to keep, if only he wanted to pick it up.
He left the one-handed controller Nick had bought him on the couch. Grabbed his games and put them on top of the PlayStation in his duffel.
Dammit don’t make me cry!
He couldn’t tell Wes he’d fallen in love. After that? After Nick had said that they were just for the summer?
That they had a predetermined end point Nick had chosen, like Colton and his heart were packaged food he could pluck off the shelf?
“I was just a one-night stand that never went home.”
It shouldn’t feel like he’d taken a bullet to his chest to see his closet door open and Colton’s clothes scooped out.
But his mom would be as thrilled to see him appear on her doorstep as Justin had been to see him come out of Nick’s bedroom.
If one more person looked at him like he was a barely tolerable presence, someone to be put up with—it was just summer—he was going to shrivel up and blow away.
On the road ahead, off the county highway, he saw a fleabag motel with a lit Vacancy sign. It was a way station for truckers and drifters and the homeless. That was him, now.
No I don’t wanna cry!
It was just summer. You’re my whole world, Justin. Why wasn’t he anyone’s whole world?
Nick, if you’d loved me, I wouldn’t need any of them. Not the fans. Not ESPN. Not his name in neon. He wouldn’t need six Super Bowl rings. He’d only want one ring.
I’m sorry, Dad. I wish I’d run the right way for you.
I’m sorry I kissed you, Nick. I should have kept this to myself. I shouldn’t have wanted more than I deserved, and I shouldn’t have come between you and Justin.
In some ways, you’re like a son to me. But I’m paid to win, not to be you boys’ daddy.”
Well damn. Gee thanks
You can help him get there.” “You want me to help him take my place?” “Colton… I’m sorry, but this is for the good of the team, which is what I have to think of.
He had no one and nothing, now. Not the man he loved or his best friend. He didn’t even have his dreams anymore.
The painkillers wouldn’t do anything for his broken heart,
He was Colton Hall, and he had nothing. No one loved him. No future waited for him. He was alone, in a shitty motel, with a broken heart and two lost jobs.
“Look, Colton,” Clarence had said, leaning in like they were sharing a secret. “I know the team gave you this coaching assistantship so you could end your college career with dignity.
But I got this team now. It’s cool.”
Wtf kind of disrespectful asshole
“No wonder you’re a Goddamn has-been!”
And it didn’t matter if Nick didn’t love him back. The heart craved what it craved, and he loved Nick whether Nick loved him or hated him or wanted nothing to do with him.
Colton didn’t have a job. He didn’t have a football team. He didn’t even have a best friend anymore.
