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Nick had come over after practice most nights that week. He had hung out with the three of them, played video games with Colton and Wes, and talked to Justin until they all were yawning hard enough to crack their jaws.
Last night, though, Nick had gone out with Justin and Wes, taking them to a family dinner before they headed to the ranch for the summer. That had stung. Family dinner for three. But what had he expected? He’s not your dad. You don’t have a dad.
</3
“My dad playing video games, you going to work in an actual office.” Justin shook his head. “What is the world coming to?”
their group chat—him, Nick, Justin, and Wes—and
Cute
It was Nick. You have your doctor’s appointment this afternoon, right? Yeah. I think I can make it back in time if you want a ride. I can pick you up. Colton smiled. Yeah. That’d be great. Thanks.
He was all smiles as they walked out of the doctor’s office. Nick was, too, and they celebrated by stopping for ice cream, slurping down their cones before they melted all over their hands and the sidewalk.
He and Nick had hung out together on their own plenty since his injury, but Justin and Wes were always a phone call or a text message away, or they were on their way back home or would be there in a few hours. Hadn’t Nick even said once that he’d stayed as long as he had with Colton just so he could see Justin?
With Justin away, he didn’t expect their time together to last, but there was a flicker of hope burning inside him, as tiny as a birthday candle.
“You know, I’d rather you show up Monday in shorts and a T-shirt than injure yourself shopping.
“You’ll be careful?” Nick turned to him, one wrist slung over the steering wheel. He was frowning, a vertical line of concern creasing the space between his eyebrows. “I don’t want you hurting yourself. And I don’t want you to be in pain later tonight because you pushed yourself for this.”
Heart reactions appeared from Nick, and then: Please don’t text and drive, Wes. I’m stopped. I just made the turn off of I-10 at Fort Stockton. Thank you, Nick typed. You boys are precious cargo. Heart emoji.
I fucking love Nick
He sent a picture of his closet but scribbled out his new clothes before he sent it. Did you buy red squiggly lines? :)
Ugh the cute
He typed Do you want to come over— And then mashed the backspace button. No, Nick didn’t want to leave his million-dollar balcony and come hang out with him and play PlayStation. Nick was a grown-ass man. Don’t ask. Don’t even bother.
My poor baby
His gaze raked over Colton, from his tightly knotted Texas tie and his white button-down to his pressed black pants and shining dress shoes. “You did great. You look perfect.”
He puffed up beneath Nick’s praise, like he always did whenever someone older and wiser noticed him and said he was good. He couldn’t stop his smile.
Nick slid him a glass of wine and said, “Your job is to sit there and talk to me. And enjoy yourself.”
His mom did that once: came up for the weekend and stayed at a winery outside of town. She spent more time there than visiting campus. Or him.
One day, Nick was a part of their lives, and it was something Colton had just taken as fact, like Wes being gay and Justin moving in. Justin and Nick were a package deal, he’d thought.
He chose his son. Justin is so fucking lucky.
“But I could get used to this.” So could I. Colton sipped his wine and tipped his head back. So could I.
Dinner the first night together turned into dinner the second night… and the third… and then never stopped.
Colton held his breath, biting down on the inside of his lip. Nick is a grown-ass man. He doesn’t want to sit around and play video games all night. He wants to drink wine and sit on his balcony, you dumbass.
He’d become attuned to all of Nick’s movements, his twitches and squirms and the way he frowned when he was trying to concentrate. How he’d slide Colton a small, triumphant smile when he beat one of the bad guys.
Something warm pulsed inside Colton as he drove home. Something that felt like giddiness, like he’d rolled in sunshine and blue sky and a burst of Texas bluebonnets.
Nick played until Colton’s eyes grew heavy and he lay down on a pillow that rested against Nick’s thigh. He fell asleep to the sound of horse hooves over Nick’s TV speakers and the steady rhythm of Nick’s breathing, mixed with the plastic-on-plastic grind of button mashing and joystick swiveling.
He looked soft, warm, and comfortable. Like the word home turned into a person.
That effortless care, that kind regard. It was so easy for Nick to be awesome, like he was kind and thoughtful and caring so often that he never had to think about it.
His affection was like a star, and Colton was caught in his gravity.
Nick said, “You know, if you’d like, you can crash in Justin and Wes’s bedroom. They’re obviously not using it this summer, and you’re more than welcome to stay whenever you want.” He spoke like he hadn’t just dropped an atomic bomb in the center of Colton’s soul.
a man who took time to care for one of his son’s friends, someone who hadn’t known how much of a jigsaw puzzle full of holes he was until Nick arrived to trace all his missing pieces.
I want, I want, I want so badly. But he wasn’t a kid, and Nick wasn’t his dad, and this had an end. It always had an end.
He was filling up all the cracks and crevices where Colton’s hope had withered and died.
Could he stand it if Nick vanished? If he wasn’t in the stands or in Colton’s life? What if Nick was just another missing face he searched for game after game after game? If he ever played again.
“Are you sure you’re cool with that?” he asked again. “’Cause I don’t want to say no, and if this is one of those life tests where I’m supposed to say no because that’s the polite thing to do, I think I’m gonna fail.”
“You spend enough time at my place that it makes sense for you to stay. Besides, your PlayStation is already there. Let’s swing by your house and grab some clothes and your toothbrush and anything else you want.”
He smiled and couldn’t stop. “Thanks. That’s— It’s—” He had no idea what to say to try to explain the big ball of feelings tumbling through him. “It will be great,” Nick finished for him. “I’m glad you said yes. I get lonely, too.”
Nick nodded at the wall. “Hard to believe that’s where we met, huh?” “God, you were a dick that morning. But it was for a good cause, so.” He shrugged. Smiled.
When he’d imagined one more year, he never would have thought that would mean spending a summer living with Nick.
Justin didn’t know Colton was living in his bedroom. Justin also didn’t know that, essentially, every single time he and Wes texted, Colton and Nick were sitting practically side by side.
He hadn’t expected to be spending so much time with Nick back when they were joking about it all, but he wasn’t complaining. If anything, volunteering to go with Nick on a business trip was ratcheting up their one-on-one time.
Wes and Justin made falling in love look effortless.
Justin and Wes and their love had stunned them both, not just into silence, but into smallness. Who were they next to the sun and moon of Justin and Wes’s love?
He and Nick faced each other, looked into each other’s eyes, and counted out loud. Hands together. Skin touching. He had to raise for five seconds, then lower for five. Repeat ten times. One hundred seconds of being face-to-face.
Usually he held Nick’s gaze through his lifts, but that night his eyes kept bouncing to their joined hands, the countertop, his own fluttering bicep. To Nick’s pulse, steady at the side of his neck, or Nick’s phone.
Would he ever find a girl to love the way Wes loved Justin? Would he ever find a girl who loved him that much? Would he ever smile that hugely, so broad it looked like his heart was going supernova?
“Justin wouldn’t be as happy as he is today if it weren’t for everything you’ve done for him. Today is also thanks to you. Because of that.” Nick looked away. Blinked fast. His smile was fragile, and his fingers curled around his cell phone. “Thank you,” he whispered. “All I want is for him to be happy.” Colton shrugged. “Well. You succeeded. He is.”
“No kids for you yet, son?” “No, sir.” Colton flushed.
I just realized he's gonna be Justin's stepdad, oh my goddddd
“You’ll find someone who knocks your socks off. It will be like a freight train slamming right into you. Bam!”
“You’ll find that again, Nick.” Kimbrough squeezed Nick’s shoulder, a slightly softer version of his violent hello from that afternoon. “You had a beautiful boy with her, but your future lies with someone else. Your hearts didn’t beat together. That’s the hardest damn thing about growing with someone: you gotta make sure you keep your hearts beating together and that you really know each other. It’s too damn easy to go spinning off on your own and leave each other behind.”
See you in a few weeks, Nick. Bring Colton back with you when you come down.”
