Like Me

by Hayley Phelan

name checked!

loose with booze,

an actress I used to like but now hardly even remembered and certainly wouldn’t care about seeing, which just goes to show you how much Blake knows about anything.

you sound six years old lol an icon

It meant I was somewhere where things could happen.

slush pile of DMs.

He wrote this on the title page in pen. It was the only part of the book I read.

you could have found the SECOND most common name at least

The night had been so overshadowed by my encounter with Gemma in the bathroom, and I was so tired and drunk, that I had momentarily forgotten that I’d DMed

ok so youre not THAT obsessed

I couldn’t be seen walking around with a Dunkin’ Donuts cup.

Now look what you did! You’ve just upset Ben Affleck!

Other people were my mother’s favorite topic.

my mother refused to honk; she thought it was undignified—a

ignorance is bliss, then it’s also the greatest luxury money can buy.

I may not have personally done anything wrong, but my entire life, my very existence, had been built on the back of others’ sufferings.

well honey you’re american

It was the kind of thing brands had started posting recently, as if they were moral entities instead of capitalist enterprises, as if they had values beyond customer retention and profit margin. We’d come to expect this from them—they were now our legislators, our educators, and, most importantly, our friends. As people began to think of themselves more and more as brands, brands started to feel more and more like people.

Brazilian President Makes Statement on New “Flu”: “It’s Not Serious.”

now THATS something that would happen

wait how do you picture someones face without thinking of a photo of them

every child does that tho

but did you record them on cassette

I used to believe that the world was speaking to me through objects, signs, and noises—at long dinners, I liked to crawl under the table and interpret its hidden language, like, If my dad coughs in the next thirty seconds, it means that he loves me. My dad had a bad smoker’s cough in those days and was always coughing.

ocd sisters!

HAIM?

did she follow u

he tagged you in a STORY? not even on the gram grid??! girl

maybe you are her and have a split personality or smtg

and actually slouching towards bethlehem

right cause you didn’t before

omg maybe rachel williams met you

Personality was a cozy way of saying personal brand.

PANTIES ON THE GROUND WE WERE ALWAYS SKIPPING TOWN

Blood? Who cared about blood? I was going to be rich.

an alternate from The Irishman as found on Elizabeth Holmes’ texts

I had imagined that my actions, so easily faked, would not impact who I was; yet added together, it turned out those actions amounted to my life.

#MeToo more like #HimToo?!

“Yeah, if you’re into performative wokedom.” This was something I’d seen someone else say on Instagram. Of course, I was really just pissed I hadn’t been sent one.

again, is SHE gemma

watched it all on a tiny TV screen at the end of a hallway, and the hallway kept stretching on and on forever until the scene was the size of a postage stamp.

definitely gemma dissociating

are they also Not Real

#. but seriously that thing about how the created stories in her head?

rapey

she never existed

LOL I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA LET THE HOMELESS MAN CRAS

she did not become a millionaire from instagram lol

exactly you ARE gemma

YOU KILLED A DOG???? A DOG ??????????????!????????? THATS WORSE THAN KILLING A PERSON

almost as if they had come from somewhere deep inside myself?

ha

not even you can

will u?👀

duh

New York City had confirmed its first Brazilian flu case.

yeah its u babe

bruh try being your reader

so are you karma now

its like youre on the circle and they eliminated you and gave you a catfish profile