I don’t know what to do other than tighten my arms around him and keep my weight pressed down, blanketing every inch of him I can reach. But if anything, it makes it worse. Hopelessness spirals. Grieving unfolds. Guilt multiplies. His wet, retched sobs absorb into me through our connected flesh. My heart constricts, squeezing tighter and tighter as the seconds tick by, bringing me closer to a death I never realized I was plummeting towards. “I hate that I love you, that you made me fucking need you.”
