Inevitable Destruction

by Marie Ann

Am I just not worth loving—worth staying for?

The nothing that will inevitably be my destruction.

Who knew how much one person could heal you, then quite literally undo every ounce of that healing at the drop of a dime.

Thinking leads to pain. Pain leads to body wracking memories. Memories lead to something much fucking worse than pain—grief. For who I’ve lost. For who I am and what will never be because of both of those things. And I’d just rather not feel them at all.

What I would give to be a void—to just be absolutely nothing. To not feel, live, or even fucking breathe…