To Sir, with Love

by Lauren Layne

“Oh, I don’t like the sound of this at all. There is no good use for the word mate outside of the Discovery Channel.” “Yeah, the name’s not great,” I say. Their tagline’s even worse: Love at no sight.

“Okay, but if you guys hit it off—” “He has a girlfriend,” I interrupt.

oh?

“Keva knows,” I say, referring to my friend and upstairs neighbor. Rachel looks away with just the slightest flinch, and I feel instant regret. She and Keva have met a couple of times and get along, but I sense she’s sometimes jealous of the friendship.

dare i say… rt?

No matter how many times I put myself out there, no matter how many dates I go on—and believe me, there have been plenty—I can’t let go of the sense that when I see him, I’ll know.

I’ve never met the man. I’ve never even seen him before. And yet I know him. My heart knows him. This is my Prince Charming, my love at first sight.

“I’m assuming you work for Sebastian Andrews?” I say, irritatingly familiar with the name that’s been the signatory of every letter. The man stares at me coolly before replying. “I am Sebastian Andrews.”

He can’t know it, but his question hits me right in the deep, dark, endless hole of worry that I reserve for those 3 a.m. anxiety attacks.

The photo is a reminder that this space, this store, is not about the numbers on my laptop that are lower than any of us want them to be. It’s about family. The Cooper family.

“Well, thank God you called to let me know, Ms. Cooper. I’d never have known the time without this call.”

i giggled lol

“No, no. Just enjoying your word choice.”

i lowkey love him

“Ms. Cooper—”

WHY DID MY HEART DROP

“Just a couple of weeks ago, Mr. Andrews found this local guy up on Amsterdam. He doesn’t deliver, but I actually like to get out of the office to peruse the weekly selection.” I stare at him. Surely, he’s not talking about Carlos.

STOP

“Thanks for pushing the schedule back for a late lunch,” he says, and I glance at Noel, realizing that when he’d said Mr. Andrews had been able to move some things around, he’d pushed back lunch with his parents. To meet with… me?

There’s something irritatingly irresistible about someone who won’t give you the time of day…

sir did you forget you still have a gf

The moments of eye contact are brief—a few seconds at most. The butterflies in my stomach last much, much longer.

The eyes? I frown and glance over at my painting, then toss the sandwich I’ve just picked up back onto the plate, appetite gone. I’ve made the man’s eyes aqua.

“Oh my God, fine. I’ll refund you 50 percent. Which is more than fair, since you did drink the wine, and that was the most expensive part.” The light in his eyes dims. “Forget it. I wasn’t asking for a refund.”

girl don’t pmo… ur fumbling so fucking bad

The order bothers me. Lemon sorbet is my thing with Sir, and I don’t like thinking about Sebastian Andrews and Sir in the same thought. I like even less that when he notices me shiver and drops his coat over my shoulders, I stop thinking about Sir altogether.

“You’ve built it up so much in your head that you’re afraid the reality won’t measure up, so you keep everyone at arm’s length. It’s also probably why you’re so attracted to a guy you’ve never met. It lets you preserve that dream.”

robyn chewed

Having “met” you, I know that on as many of those days as possible, I want to feel the way I feel when I see your screen name in my in-box.

“I just wanted you to know I don’t feel good about the things I said to you, and they don’t reflect how I really feel.” “Which is?”

“Thanks for seeing me on short notice. Have a nice evening, Mr. Andrews.” I walk back to the door, blinking back tears. “Gracie.” His voice is rough. I turn. He’s standing, his expression both cautious and hopeful. “Do you have plans for dinner tonight?”

i can’t do this

“Because you said you loved him. Because you deserve your fairy-tale ending. And because I’d do anything for you, Gracie Cooper. Even if it means letting you go.”

The pink flowers today, a hint, a promise. The other woman, the complicated one he couldn’t bear to lose. Me.

“I’m not the easiest guy to love. Not by a long shot, and I wanted—” He takes a deep breath. “I wanted you to love both Sebastian and Sir. Because I’m a selfish ass, and I wanted you to love both sides of me, as much as I love both sides of you. And because of what I said before—you deserve the fairy-tale ending, and I can only hope you’ll give me a chance to be yours, Gracie.”