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For Master Loden, Bell thought, and that no one else may ever suffer at the Nihil’s hands as he suffered.
Bell had rarely felt the Force with him so powerfully as he did at the moment he rushed forward into a blazing array of blasterfire, slashing through the air that surrounded him so closely he could feel the heat. The scent of ozone filled Bell’s breath. Yet his lightsaber blade deflected every blaster bolt so smoothly that it seemed to be moving itself, aiming without any conscious work from Bell other than fierce concentration.
What made someone want to live like this? To join the Nihil, visit infinite pain and destruction upon innocents throughout several systems, and for what? Life on a dark, dank ship creeping along the edges of space, with only the dim spark of potential future riches to provide any light—something that was no life at all.
Being a Jedi was a sacred duty—but the light demanded more than obedience and sacrifice. Sometimes a Jedi had to be open to the simple, pure experience of joy.
“Elzar is taking some time to strengthen his ties to the Force,” Stellan said. “Connecting with the greater Jedi he may yet become.”
I have begun drawing upon the dark side for my strength in the Force.
Extreme circumstances created extreme emotions. Denying them served no purpose. Why not use them?
Where do you draw the line? Elzar asked himself. You don’t know. You can’t know. And that’s why you can’t travel down that path at all.
How much of my confusion and anger is rooted in my feelings for Avar? So he had asked himself as he meditated on his knees, sometimes for hours at a stretch. How much energy do I waste, trying to reconcile that which can never be reconciled?
I want you to practice standing firm against the water. Not to reject its power—to coexist with it. To accept it, and yet hold fast.”
It was a communion he’d relished in the past, but that connection was different now, somehow stronger for his refusal to completely surrender to it.
You’re an intuitive Force-user, Elzar. It’s a strength, not a weakness, once you’ve figured out your boundaries.”
He hadn’t understood how much he’d been flirting with women lately until he’d met one who had no use for that whatsoever.)
The two most blatant living Jedi flirts, this feels ironid
Surely Avar Kriss was capable of anything.
It was possible to admit things to a peer that could never be comfortably said to a Master.
Only now did Bell realize that, to him, acceptance had meant something too close to “surrender.” That wasn’t it at all. Acceptance was strength. It was being able to carry the weight of what had been, and what had not, through all the many days, months, years, and decades to follow. Bell would bear this burden as long as he cherished the memory of Loden Greatstorm.
so relax, appreciate the unique circumstances that have brought you into being at this moment in history, and enjoy the ride.”
By refusing to match an opponent—by not only acknowledging their ship’s smallness but by embracing it—Orla Jareni had found a way to claim a kind of victory and to save hundreds of lives.
“What reminded you that we didn’t have to be aggressive? That we could be…small, even playful, and in being so, achieve a victory?” Orla gave him an odd look. “I’ve never had to be reminded of that,” she said gently. “Stay on your current path, Elzar, and you’ll see it, too.”
He smiled at her, genuinely glad to be reminded, for a moment, that his task was greater than running after the latest crisis. This was about unifying space under the peaceful banner of the Republic, and about bringing justice and safety to millions who had never truly known it before. He added, “We are all the Republic.”
Although he’d never admit it to her, Avar might have had the right idea all along.
Yarrow’s polished exterior might as well have been an impenetrable shell. This woman knew who and what she was, and she trusted fate to deliver her where she needed to be.
The Nihil were bad, sure, but try managing a roomful of toddlers who’ve missed their nap and just figured out they can basically do magic. It was not a task for the weak.
Jedi ECE classroom management OMG!
Darkness will ever be a part of me, he reminded himself. It will ever be a part of every Jedi, of every living thing. To acknowledge the darkness is to know the
darkness. To know the darkness is to begin to control it.
“Doesn’t it seem like Starlight is the last place we ought to go? It’s the symbol of the Republic in this area, the center of the Jedi presence—that makes it the place the Nihil hate most of all.”
I think people who like pets are more in touch with the Force, Bell thought.
“I find tact only slows conversations down.”
“The Jedi are meant to find meaning in the Order. In one another. In doing our duty.
“You’ve found it all too easy, though, haven’t you? Stellan Gios, the brightest of the bright, bravest of the brave, symbol of all that is good in the Jedi Order, youngest member of the Council in quite a while, and front and center of every publicity effort the Republic makes on our behalf.
“That’s where we differ. You still think the Jedi Order and the Force are the same thing.”
That made Stellan wonder if he knew who he was without the Force at his beck and call, as it seemed to be no longer…
“To put it simply, Bell, you must always be willing to lose me, if it is necessary to do what we ought. I must be willing to lose you. We must be willing to sacrifice ourselves, and each other, for the greater good.”
“And I am definitely less likely to get into trouble for this if I’m not the only one down here on my own recognizance.” Regald paused as he ran one hand through his shaggy brown hair. “Should I have admitted that out loud?”
Orla said, “What do you mean, another one? This is a thing that’s been happening?”
Nan couldn’t resist a small smile as she thought of the high-and-mighty Jedi being brought down by something as simple as this: the revelation that they didn’t look very carefully at those who did menial tasks for them.
I am being punished for my pride. For thinking I knew better than Avar Kriss, that I alone knew the right course of action to take against the Nihil, for Starlight—
The past is gone. The future is only a dream. The present is all.
The real danger, she had said, lies in those emotions that seem positive at first, but take too great a hold over our minds and hearts. Give way to those feelings, embrace them, and before you know it, they’ve been twisted into something else far more damaging.
Pride is the last emotion I have left.
Burryaga said he’d counted Ember all along, and Bell smiled.
“People have a right to know,” Orla insisted. “In their place, I’d want the truth.”
Her temper had long been her most difficult companion, but she possessed more self-control than this—or at least she did when she was in communion with the Force.
“We must stop it. In order to stop it, we must identify it.
“There are dangers at work that we are powerless to prevent. If we allow them to distract us from the few tools we have to increase our chances of survival, then we waste those chances.
“This is what hope is. It isn’t pretending that nothing will go wrong if only we try hard enough. It’s looking squarely at all the obstacles in the way—knowing the limits of our own power, and the possibility of failure—and moving ahead anyway. That is how we must proceed. With hope.”
Worse, for Bell, it was a terrible reminder of the tragic end of Loden Greatstorm. “Yes,” he said. “She’s husked.”
Give this baby a break!
It’s that girl Addie, she finally decided. She gets to fly around the galaxy having fun and acting self-righteous, and she never stops to think about how hard the rest of us are working. She never dreams about having to suffer, or sacrifice. She doesn’t know how good she has it.
Some individuals feed on conflict the way plants feed on light, Leox reminded himself. It’s as natural to them as photosynthesis to a leaf.
It didn’t matter if he’d failed recently. It didn’t matter if he felt shaky, or uncertain, or alone. Duty called upon him to rise to this moment, and Elzar would be damned if he’d falter again.
