Todd insists there’s a crucial difference between shaming bad behaviour while continuing to affirm that the child is loved, and shaming a child’s innate characteristics – such as flamboyance in little boys – for making them a bad kind of person: it’s not a choice or thing we’ve done, it’s a natural part of us, so we can’t correct the thing perceived as the problem … It’s as if receiving the love of our parents is conditional on changing the colour of our eyes. As children we are not equipped to understand that it is just the actions and beliefs of other human beings – our parents – that are
...more
