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I want as many miles as I can get between my family and me. I can only hope that the more miles I put between us, the less the pulsing ache in my chest will bleed.
For months, nightmares have plagued me, making it hard for me to sleep at night.
As usual, I’m wide awake by four o’clock even though I didn’t fall asleep until well after midnight. Sleeping a few hours a night isn’t abnormal for me.
On silent feet, I leave the small apartment without incident and find my way to the in-house gym. I love mornings because at this hour, everyone is still asleep, and I don’t have to worry about anyone watching me or force myself to put a mask on to cover up the pain. I can just be me.
My heartbeat is pulsing in my ears, and the burning in my muscles is invigorating. Running gives me a high that carries me through the day.
I knew what kind of person my father was, so I wanted to be the opposite.
“What I want are your screams, your tears. I want you weak and immobile. I want you begging me to stop while I take and take until there’s nothing left to take.”
A bookworm’s heaven, that’s what this library is.
Sitting here listening to everyone else’s so-called problems makes me snap. Their complaints are superficial. They don’t have the first fucking clue what it’s like to lose, to be lost and never found.
All she’s worried about is her stupid little book, and I fucking hate it. I hate that she is ignoring me. I hate that my dick is getting hard just from looking at her.
“Be a good girl and open your mouth.”
“No one goes into her room besides me. No one touches her besides me. No one torments her besides me. She is mine and mine alone. If I find any of you are doing anything to her, I will cut off your balls and shove them down your throat. Is that clear?”
My eyes flutter shut without my permission, and I let my cheek rest against Q’s chest. He is so warm… and he smells good… I still hate him, though. I hate him for who he is and what he did to me today. I hate him.
“Fine, let’s do this. Preferably without the choking me out part.” “I can’t make any promises. It seems you bring out the worst in me.”
“I want you to remember who owns you here. I want you to remember that I can do whatever I want to you, whenever I want to. Say it. Tell me it’s true.”
I hate shutting her out like that, but for my own mental health, I have to.
“I don’t care that you’re a virgin. I don’t care about anything, actually. I’m going to fuck you hard and fast. I don’t want you to say a fucking word when I remove my hand. Do you understand me?”
Nobody tells you that grief is like living two lives, one where you’re forced to move on and go day by day living, and the other where your heart bleeds with every thump. A wound that will never heal.
As I wait for the day to pass, my mind is too busy to get back into a book, no matter how much I wish I could escape reality.
She is mine to touch, mine to torment, only mine.
“Your pussy is mine. Mine to fuck. Mine to tease,” Quinton growls, nipping at my earlobe.
“Pretend you don’t want me. In fact, pretend for both of us because now that I’ve had a taste of you, I don’t know if I can ever go back.”
I never thought I would be the type to crave darkness, but something about him when he’s unhinged and owning me, knowing he holds all the power, excites me.
“I should mark you. Put hickeys all over your neck so everyone knows that you’ve been claimed. What do you think?”
“Look at me. I want you to see who gave you that orgasm, who owns your body, and who controls every move you make.”
“Marking you will show him you’re mine. It will show others you’re unavailable.”
“You act like you don’t want me, but we both know you do. You want me even when you hate me, and that’s okay because I feel the same way about you.”
As fucked up as it is, she is my missing piece. The calm to my storm, the virtue to my wickedness.
