To this day, I still don’t know how it happened the first time. It was like I was possessed. One minute we were playing hide–and–seek in the barn, and the next minute I was behind the hay bales rubbing myself on Jamie. I told her it was part of the game, and she didn’t ask any more questions after that. I swore I would never do it again. But I did. Again and again and again. To both of them. I’d lie in bed at night and promise God that it was the last time, but I couldn’t stop myself. I just couldn’t. I was out of control. My dad unexpectedly came into the barn one afternoon and caught me
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