I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

by Tom Segura

I’d learned something they don’t teach you in school: The world is full of disappointment. In sports, jobs, but most of all, in people.

That day I realized that there are two types of people in the world: people who would have shit their pants when a stranger called them out by name because the stranger had found their lost wallet and people like Justin. Detached, uninteresting, coasting through life. The world has a bunch of Justins in it, and they are to be avoided.

“You’re two hundred fifty pounds. That’s a lot. Sometimes it’s good to be fat.”