Out of the Blue

by Jason June

but it’s not like humans are transformed by our help. They just keep on crashing oil tankers and catching dolphins in their tuna nets and destroying coral reefs,

Dogs barking, children yelling, car horns carrying down the sand from the . . . what’s that word again? Oh, street.

Have an enjoyable day? Kavya calls this my Upset Accountant, where I sound like a very bland accountant when I’m flustered.

A grin splits Sean’s round face from ear to ear. It’s actually kind of cute. Gross.

They’re sort of like manatees, but humans literally squeeze their teats to make milk shoot out! Land is weird.

“You’re not like those sirens that eat people, right? We both know I’d be lying if I said I’m not meaty. I am and I know I’d taste good and—Fuck! If you are going to eat me, I am not doing a good job of trying to convince you otherwise.”

Maybe humans aren’t as magicless as I thought. There’s definitely some kind of power in movies.

they were almost as nice as the way his thighs bulge against his shorts, or his stomach against his shirt. I like it, how big he is.

It was the perfect rom-com moment, when the two leads finally realize they’re meant to be together,

This is why you should never underestimate a person who you think is all jokes. Because sometimes, when the jokes are over, there’s some pretty profound stuff there.