Out of the Blue

by Jason June

Have an enjoyable day? Kavya calls this my Upset Accountant, where I sound like a very bland accountant when I’m flustered.

I sound just like a dolphin. Really horny.

Maybe humans have some kind of unknown magic of their own, because Sean’s thick thighs definitely won’t let me go.

A grin splits Sean’s round face from ear to ear. It’s actually kind of cute. Gross.

They’re sort of like manatees, but humans literally squeeze their teats to make milk shoot out! Land is weird.

There’s not this idea that one other individual completes you, but rather the whole community is an integral part of our existence,

Reality shows are a slap in the face to the art form that is scripted storytelling.

I mean, what are you supposed to say when someone tells you Santa is just a cynical recluse holed up in the North Pole but sugar-addicted elves keep up the ruse of Christmas cheer?

Maybe humans aren’t as magicless as I thought. There’s definitely some kind of power in movies.

you’ve got to see Hollywood, baby. It’s where dreams are made even though it looks like a complete pile of shit.”

It was the perfect rom-com moment, when the two leads finally realize they’re meant to be together,

There’s literal, my-mom-is-a-merperson type magic, and then there’s magic that we can create.

My love for one human isn’t enough to replace my love for my home, for my family.

Coraline places a gentle finger over my heart. “There is no wrong answer if you listen to this.”

This is why you should never underestimate a person who you think is all jokes. Because sometimes, when the jokes are over, there’s some pretty profound stuff there.