Out of the Blue

by Jason June

To Mom and Dad and Mom, for always letting me pretend to be a mermaid

Cut to me crying in bed. Cut to me crying in the shower. Cut to me crying over a tub of Ben & Jerry’s while watching Gina Rodriguez get broken up with in Someone Great and fully relating to her pain.

It’s so different from what mer do. We live as a community and focus on energies and love who we want; we share our bodies with whoever it feels right to without obsessing over gender and body parts. Well, there is one body part I’m exceptionally ready to explore in my mer form. And for the second time since we got to this restaurant, I’m thinking about scaling. I sound just like a dolphin. Really horny.

“Affirmative. They are most definitely, without a doubt, hypnothighzed.” She sets the binoculars down and points even though I’m half a block away from her. “What have I told you about those things? They’re a weapon, and you should not take that responsibility lightly.”

I cannot stop staring at Sean’s legs. Ever since we walked out of Beach Burritos, I can’t help but notice the way his thighs fill his shorts. The red fabric clings to his legs, which have a solid layer of hair covering his white skin. They look strong, unmovable, powerful. I feel a stirring in my gut, excited guppies flitting around in there. I’ve never been around legs before, and the Elders never mentioned that human appendages could be so . . . captivating? Maybe humans have some kind of unknown magic of their own, because Sean’s thick thighs definitely won’t let me go.

I walk in stunned silence. I mean, what are you supposed to say when someone tells you Santa is just a cynical recluse holed up in the North Pole but sugar-addicted elves keep up the ruse of Christmas cheer?

The rest of the movie is peeks and blushes and hand squeezes. Well, except for the part at the very end where Allie has lost her memory and I scream, “We sat through that only for her to forget everything?!” It’s heartbreaking. And it pisses me off. But in a good way. And it’s surprising to feel so much, especially knowing it’s all fake. Allie and Noah are actors, this whole scenario never happened, yet here I am crying because of kisses, yelling because I want these fake people to be together forever. Maybe humans aren’t as magicless as I thought. There’s definitely some kind of power in movies.

“You’re right,” I say, and move my fingers just so, so that Ross’s fall in between mine. “I’ll work on that.” I turn back to the screen, where Daryl Hannah is flopping around in a bathtub, her fin out and proud. “Hey, your tail comes out when you get wet too. Are you sure no human has ever seen a merperson before?” “Mmm, doubt it. At least, not in recent history. It had to be a lucky guess. And if you turn my Journey into some lame movie when I’m gone, I’m going to crawl out of the ocean and drown you.”